THE HONOR CODE

by Renee Piane

One of the subjects I believe needs addressing is the honor code between friends. This week’s issue is one that I know many of us face with people in our lives when you hang out in groups.

I have a group of friends that are like family to me and we have all gone through love affairs, broken hearts and lots of good times. We all bring new friends to the group and sometimes the new additions have dated or are dating one of us.

Last month I went out with the gang and there were a few new people with some of the girls. I was introduced to a man who was with one of my friends and in the weeks that followed this handsome man came alone to another event we all attended without my friend.

He was friendly and flirting with someone in our group and it came up in the conversation that he had been friend’s with my girlfriend for over 4 years. Upon investigating further my friend discovered they were casual lovers and not in a committed relationship.

So the question is can you date someone that has slept with or is casually dating your friend with supposedly ... no strings attached?

This situation can cause separation in friendships and a lot of pain if The Honor Code is broken with out clear communication. This code should be something that friends discuss and it is a subject that many people are to shut off to deal with it openly. We all must be realistic and if you have a friend that would be perfect for an X of yours, or someone you are dating that isn’t the "one" introduce them to people you love if there is a connection!

Life is too short! Friendships and honesty come first and unless there is that honesty the deception can ruin trust and honor between friends. On the other hand I know many people that have meet through friends that had dated in the past and it worked out just fine!

A life long friend of mine married his brothers X after over 7 years and they never have spoken again. His brother had even remarried and he couldn’t let it go and accept that his brother had found true love.

Why can’t friends just accept it and let go there of their egos?

How can we bridge the subject?

Who should communicate?

I think the person who has dated your friend should be the first communicator expressing the interest then have a discussion openly.

I believe that the friendship Honor Code is the first priority. We are here to support each other to be happy and fulfilled in love not be hiding and lying to each other in life.

Let’s help each other to find love.

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© Copyright 2001 by Renee Piane. All Rights Reserved. This content may be copied in full, as long as copyright, contact, and creation information is given, and only if used in a not-for-profit format. If possible, I would also appreciate an endorsement. If any other use is desired, written permission is required. Thank you,Renee Piane.

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